Why did God put us together?

Most couples never think about that question. Normally, we think about ourselves. Am I happy? Does she/he make me happy, fulfil me? Why can’t he/she be like A. B or C?

But we should remember “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Mark 9:10

And since God has joined us, lets ask Him why, if we do not know. He does.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
— Jer 29:11

God has good plans for your marriage.

Don’t Quit!

Being married, is a job we chose not to quit from, we made a covenant to each other, more importantly to God, who is the 3rd strand in our marriage that binds us keep us together. PRAISE THE LORD for favor, grace and mercy.
— Shelley Goodas

Speak Life over you Mate

Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. — Proverbs 19:21
Speak Life over you mate. Not death. How do you speak life? To yourself and to them, say what they are doing well. Say the fruit of patience is growing in my mate towards me.
Speak healing to their body. That my wife will “do me good and not evil all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:12. That my husband loves me with the Love of Jesus and His love too. Mixing the word of God with your words of Life encourages your faith, and adds power to your words.
Complaints, accusations, and fear opens the door of access to the enemy.
Which fruit do you want in your marriage? You have ½ of the responsibility. Your mate the other half. But praise God for Grace! And imagine life with words of encouragement, instead of discouragement being the normal form of communication in your marriage. Speak Life!

The 4 Laws of Marriage

The 4 Laws of Marriage, as outlined by Jimmy Evans of MarriageToday, are from Genesis 2:23-25 —
And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
1. The Law of Priority: This law states that a spouse’s relationship with their spouse must take precedence over all other relationships. This includes relationships with children, parents, friends, and coworkers. Evans emphasizes that in order for a marriage to thrive, both spouses must prioritize each other above all others (Evans, 2019).

2. The Law of Pursuit: According to this law, spouses must actively pursue and invest in their relationship with each other. This involves regularly spending quality time together, communicating effectively, and showing love and affection towards one another. Evans explains that marriage requires intentional effort and attention in order to flourish (Evans, 2019).

3. The Law of Possession (Unity): The Law of Possession states that spouses must share everything. There are no private possessions. Dominance is the opposite of sharing. Independence is counter productive to sharing. Marriage is about interdependence, not independence. Marriage is about sharing life together. (Evans, 2019).

4. The Law of Purity: This law emphasizes the importance of maintaining emotional, physical, and mental purity within the marriage. It involves being faithful, honest, and loyal to one’s spouse, as well as guarding against negative influences that could harm the relationship. Evans stresses the significance of maintaining purity in order to build a strong and lasting marriage (Evans, 2019).

Evans, J. (2019). The Four Laws of Love, Part 1. MarriageToday.

Unity, Forgiveness – Always under attack in Marriage

Why is it that Unity in marriage is always under attack? That both of “us” are constantly pulled either in different directions, that when discussing something important a “wild card” jumps into the discussion, “oh remembers you still did not do ABC!”, that breaks the flow, and distracts, or breaks the unity.
That past “forgiven” issues, arise again, causing new disagreements, hurts, and requiring forgiveness again and again. That old hurts, or new ones linger.
We think it is us, or “him/her” that is the root of these problems. But we forget about the “accuser of the brethren”. His assignment is not just to accuse us before God. And praise God we have an advocate, Jesus the Anointed One, who ever lives to make intercession for us. But the accuser is also accusing us, to our friends, leaders, and most importantly to our spouse. Why?
Because the enemy, like any military enemy; only respects power and authority. His goal is to remove both from our marriage, and us both individually.
We have been given the Power of the Holy Spirit, Authority to use the Name of Jesus. Promises that God will hear us…,
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”— Mat 18:19-20
Are we gathered in His name if we are gathered in an argument, No. Can we pray effectively if we are not forgiving our mate, No. For that matter if we are in “unforgiveness” our prayers are hindered. “Forgive and you shall be forgiven”
“You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” — 1 Peter 3:7-9
Husbands, are the focus in this verse, if they do not “honor” or respect their wives, but wives are also given a command to respect their husbands. And if we are all equal in Christ, then a wife disrespecting her husband, prayers would be hindered as well.
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” – Gal 3:28
Why is the enemy attacking our unity, encouraging division, and bringing up old hurts to cause unforgiveness? Is it to break up our marriage? Yes, but that is not the first goal. His first goal it to remove our ability to access God in prayer. (forgiveness), to remove our ability to call down God’s power into our situation or others (no unity, no 2 agreeing in prayer). To stop us from walking together in the purpose and plan of God for our marriage. And to stop our faith from operating.
Why? It is our shield, the shield of Faith, “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.” – Eph 6:16.
No shield, now his other attacks will work.
No effective prayer, no unity, then you have no defense. No power.
And our weapon is the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God administered by the Holy Spirit. But how can we use the sword, if we are resisting the Holy Spirit, by auguring with our spouse.
Grace, repentance, forgiveness. And stop wrestling flesh and blood. Eph 6:12
We must recognize our mate is NOT the enemy, the enemy is standing by, to keep division active.
We must actively pursue the one of the 4 laws of marriage. Unity. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – that Law of Marriage is hidden in this verse. Notice the action words. “Leave, Cleave, shall be one…”
We must do the actions of unity, forgiveness, the actions of united prayer, and purpose. We must recognize the “enemies” quick whispers to our minds, when we are already “fleshly” disputing with our mate. And not throw his gasoline into our small fire. Or BOOM! We have a real fire now!
Grace and Unity. Love and Peace. Faith, Hope and Love. These should be the environment of our marriages we thrive for everyday.
Minister Franklin (heard this In the spirit today, for our marriages)

Vision Retreats saved our marriage!

The Mayfield’s take vision retreats twice per year to receive instructions from God regarding His vision for our life and ministries.
Last year, after nearly a decade of vision retreats, Arletia decided to share our strategy in an ebook. Our pastors were kind enough to endorse it.
Below is a promo for the ebook. It can be purchased once and copied every time you have a retreat.
Feel free to share this resource with couples.

SBWC Marriage Ministry – Private Facebook Group

Building and Strengthening Marriages, at any season, according to God’s Kingdom Principles.

The SBWC Marriage Ministry – Private Facebook Group is restricted to SBWC Married couples only. Click button below.

This is a place of communication, teaching, fun posts, and fellowship. It is a private, public place. What does that mean? It is private, but is not the forum for marriage counseling issues.

If you need very private advice please contact Senior Pastor Garner, or Minister Franklin Mayfield.

Listen to God and ask Him for guidance

When we face moments of hurt and pain in our relationships, scripture is a great place to turn to. When our marriages are struggling , it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong instead of stopping to listen to God and ask Him for guidance.
I feel this group will be a place to gain knowledge support and Godly counsel.